Ghost Fleet : A Novel of the Next World War (9780544145979) by Singer P. W.; Cole August

Author:Singer, P. W.; Cole, August
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin

Fort Mason, San Francisco

Jamie Simmons chewed his pasta quietly and stared at the coffee mug that he’d set on the table.

As he chewed, he worked his way through the day’s decisions on the Z, especially the regrets, the should’ve and could’ve moments that were all the more important now that they were running out of time. He went over the day from start to finish, but he kept fixating on the fact that he should’ve stopped at the pier-side bench before coming home. He’d let himself rush in to see Lindsey. But that five-minute decompression was one of the most important moments in his day, a time to pause and master his thoughts, to transition through the purgatory zone between duty and home. Between war and family. He knew he was on edge and shouldn’t have rushed back, but it was the fact that he was missing them at home that had made him rush.

This led him to recall his life before the war, when he’d never thought twice about what he ate or threw away or whether some should’ve, could’ve decision of his would end up leaving his sailors among the many burned carcasses cast into the Pacific. He became angry at himself for not following through on that prewar longing to be with his family, for his failure to act before their separation could turn permanent.

Jamie looked up and saw Lindsey studying him as he ate. She knew something was not right. His tension was clearly feeding hers.

“You look tired,” said Lindsey. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” said Jamie. “Let’s start over. I’m sorry, it’s just been one of those days.”

“Seems like you have those every day,” she said, a slight edge in her voice.

“I do,” said Jamie. “The closer we get to deploying, the harder it is. The crew is exhausted, and they know the ship is not where it needs to be.”

“It’s getting harder for all of us,” said Lindsey. “You need to make time for the kids. They were asking . . .”

“Asking what?”

“When you’re leaving again.”

“What’d you tell them?”

“You’ll have to go soon, but it won’t be forever.”

“It better not be.”

“I need to ask you something. I let it go after Pearl Harbor, but I have to know, I just do. Did you ever tell Riley you were done?”

“Jesus, Lindsey. Does it matter? Does it really matter? He died, bled out in front of me as close as we’re sitting here. You want to know what he thought of my career?”

“It does matter. To me. There’s no—”

A banging and a crash from upstairs stopped her. They heard an old man cursing, and then Martin laughing. Jamie’s eyes flicked over to the sound. Lindsey looked down.

“Why are the kids still up? And what’s he doing here?” said Jamie. He put his fork down with a sharp clink and reached for his coffee mug. Staring hard at Lindsey, he took a pull of the cold, bitter coffee dregs that should’ve ended up at his feet an hour ago.

“He’s fixing the toilet.

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